“Fear of Rain” and Our Idealistic View of Parents

by Grace White

Our parents aren’t perfect.

This may come as a surprise to some people, but it’s true. They make mistakes just like you and me. However, I think many times we have idealized versions of our parents that we think they are or that we want them to be.

Several months ago, I watched “Fear of Rain,” starring Katherine Heigl, Harry Connick, Jr., and Madison Iseman. If you haven’t watched it and want to, this is your warning to stop reading now because there are spoilers ahead.

In this movie, Rain, a teenage girl (played by Iseman) with schizophrenia, works to prove that her neighbor kidnapped a little girl. Rain’s mother Michelle (played by Heigl) and father John (played by Connick, Jr.) spend the majority of the film trying to convince their daughter that the little girl she keeps seeing in their neighbor’s window is just a hallucination.

Michelle was Rain’s comfort and safe space. She held Rain when she was sad. She gave her encouragement when she was confused. She talked to Rain about boys. It was clear that their relationship was special and that Michelle meant the world to Rain.

But near the end of the movie, there was a surprise twist. It was revealed that sometime before, Michelle had committed suicide and that the Michelle that Rain saw was actually a hallucination. I was stunned and sad.

It made me start to wonder: was Michelle actually like Rain’s hallucination of her or was the hallucination just who Rain wanted her to be? If Michelle was truly like the hallucination, I just don’t see how she could have committed suicide and left her daughter and husband behind. But maybe there was something going on that nobody could see, not even Rain.

I lost my mom when I was ten years old. I don’t remember much about her besides the good things, such as how kind and loving she was. I never got the chance to grow up and see and learn things about her that weren’t perfect or pretty. All I have ever known of her is that she was about as close to perfect as a person could get.

I think we all want our parents to be the way that I remember my mom and the way that Rain hallucinated Michelle, but the truth is that it’s probably not going to happen.

If I had gotten the opportunity to live with my mom longer, I’m sure she would’ve made me mad about not letting me do something I wanted to or possibly had a hard time letting go when I went to college. Maybe she would have told me about things from her past that she wasn’t proud of so that I could avoid the same mistakes.

We don’t want to see our parents in these ways. We want them to always make us happy and have good relationships with us. We want them to be gentle when we fail and uplifting when we succeed. However, it doesn’t always work that way. They have problems just like we do, and they want us to give them grace just like we want them to understand us and be kind to us when we’re upset or having a bad day.

I think the Bible speaks to this dynamic in Ephesians 6:1-4:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’ And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (ESV).

In this letter, Paul provides counsel not only to parents but also to children. The relationship between children and parents is one of the most special there is, and even though parents are over their children, understanding must come from both sides. We aren’t perfect, but if we follow the Bible’s teachings, healthier and more loving relationships can abound.